on the capacity for love (and donuts)...

It has taken me a long time to stand where I am standing, in this place where I am "okay" with Valentines Day. More so, I even kind of like it love it. I am not rolling my eyes at the many social media postings of dating/engaged/married friends, lamenting over the date-less night I have ahead of me, or even joining in on the "Singleness Awareness Day" bandwagon. No no, this year is a little bit different.

Valentines Day has always been a little somber for me, a reminder of the lack of love in my life. This year, by God's grace, I see it as a celebration of all the love I have received and been honored to give to friends and family. Call it wisdom, call it age, call it whatever you want, but God has slowly and tenderly been reminding me how much I am loved and how much I am able to love people. And the craziest thing? It has not been through a romantic relationship! I have never felt more loved than by my community, by the men and women in my life who love me in the smallest, most non-romantic ways. When I stop focusing on how I think I should be loved, I am given the eyes to see the ways that I am already being loved.
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"...when I stop focusing on how I think I should be loved, I am 

given the eyes to see the ways that I am already being loved..."

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To celebrate love ONLY in the context of a romantic relationship is missing the whole point of what love truly is; love is an extension of Christ, the One who gave His life in replacement of ours, and to only reserve it for a romantic relationship? Well, that's cheating and cheapening the love of our Savior. To only reserve love for a romantic relationship, to essentially one person, is to cheat and cheapen the work of the Cross. We must allow God to expand and redefine our definition of love so that it includes our friends, our families, and our special someones. Love is complimented in human love, but completed in Christ's love.
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"...love is complimented in human love, but completed in Christ's love...."

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We have the capacity to love only because we have been loved by Christ; He shows us how and who to love (which, by the way, is unconditional and all inclusive). Whether I am single or married, divorced or widowed, I want to love people. I want to bring them donuts and pray with them and hold them while they cry; I want to love them the way that Christ loves them, which was extravagant and exhausting and self-sacrificing. Being single should not hinder me from loving, but rather give me the freedom to love and be loved by others.

Lord, enlarge our hearts past holidays and circumstances and statuses.
Lord, grant us the capacity to love unconditionally and inclusively.
Lord, enable us to love others without expecting anything in return.
Lord, help us to receive love when others give it to us.
Lord, remind us that love is not a feeling, but a choice.
Lord, expand our capacity to love and be loved by Your people.

So today, love your people, buy the donuts, and be encouraged, 
because Christ has given you the capacity. 

on llamas, friendship, and South America...

It has been almost a week and a half since I have been back in America, and I think that I am finally back into the swing of things! I finally got around to unpacking, doing two loads of laundry, packaging gifts, and writing this little (big) post!

This trip was my first international, non-mission trip vacation. I learned a lot about who "Kristi the International Traveler" is and about how I approach other countries on my terms. Nothing like a little international travelling to lead you to self-discovery! I went to Ecuador to visit my sweet, kindred friend Tiffany while she works for a study abroad program; she returns to America in May, so I had to make plans to visit fast! Last year, we took a road trip to Big Sur and the the California Coast, and this year I went to Quito, Ecuador... We are thinking March will be a yearly thing for our friendship. I can't wait to see what we do next year! My mind is already brainstorming through so many possibilities!

It was amazing to be able to visit her and see her life there in Quito; her community, how she loves others, her daily grind, and to experience a place that is so close to her heart and so deeply woven into God's story for her life. It's amazing that now, I can even call some of them my friends! Over ten days, we spent our time hiking through local parks, debating on whether I should get a tattoo, getting my hair cut, running around with wild llamas, getting a great tan, eating all the empanadas, drinking all the coffee, and talking about all the things.

I will always remember the empanadas de morocho from La Ronda, the dark chocolate pie and lattes from Lucia's, the not-so-Indian Indian food from a local restaurant, standing in the middle of the world, and the popcorn we ate for two hours while we waited out a thunder and lightning storm on my first day. 

My favorite adventures? The Basillica, The Parque Metropolitano, the Jardin Botanico, and Mitad De Mundo. The Parque Metropolitano is a beautiful park full of beautiful hiking trails, monuments, views of Quito, and WILD LLAMAS. Yes, you read that right. Also, did I break into the little fenced off area to hang out with said llamas? Yes, because when in Ecuador you do as the Ecuadorians do. On my last day, we drove three hours via bus and taxi to spend the day in Mitad De Mundo (The Middle of the World/ The Equator) and to a little jungle city called Mindo. We had lunch at a place called The Dragonfly Inn (just like "Gilmore Girls"!) on the river and ventured to a Mariposeria (Butterfly Garden) where we laid around in hammocks and watched the hummingbirds and butterflies fly around. It was one of the most beautiful, relaxing experiences. Another treat? The Jardin Botanico De Quito! A beautiful garden of greenhouses filled with succulents, hanging plants, tropical flowers, and cacti. We felt like we were walked through the most whimsical fairy neverland.

Here's to Quito and to many more adventures ahead!

PS: What have you been up to? Tell me about it!

a coffee date...

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that I have started something BIG. I can’t really tell you what it is, but just know that it is big and good and life giving, a deep-rooted, God-sized dream that has been in my heart for a long time.

If we were on a coffee date, we would talk about what we have been reading lately. I have picked up “Let’s All Be Brave” by Annie Downs (#kindreds) and it is SO GOOD. Like, Jimmy Fallon so good. It has brought me to tears from laughing and also from the ugly cry. If you don’t have this, pick it up now! I also snagged Melanie Shankle’s newest book “Nobody’s Cuter Than You” and can’t wait to start it! What are you reading this month?

If we were on a coffee date, we would talk about how I finally signed up for Netflix (welcome to the 21^st century, Kristi, I know) and how I found my new guilty pleasure: “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”. It is hilarious and mildly inappropriate and just perfect. Also, I am binge watching “Friday Night Lights” and “Gilmore Girls”. Send help. Or popcorn and Junior Mints.

If we were on a coffee date, we would talk about singleness because that has been the thing I have been wrestling through lately. Not in a struggling way, but in a way that is good and healthy and full of learning. And because of that, this past week has really been a doozy; I have experienced full-range of emotion and completely confess that I have been “that girl” to a lot of my friends. Gosh, I am so thankful that they like me in the midst of those moments!

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that I have switched all my emojis to the African-American version because it is the best thing.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask you if you have any big summer plans and vacations. We would also talk about how crazy it is that summer is literally around the corner.

If we were on a coffee date, we would probably be at a Starbucks and if we are already talking about summer… Did you know they are releasing a S’mores Frappucino? I don’t drink the Frappucinos, but this one might get me…

If we were on a coffee date, what would you want to talk about?