a coffee date...

If we were on a coffee date, it would be in honor of the "Gilmore Girls" and their 16th Anniversary! I am the biggest fan of this show and I am currently mid-binge in anticipation for the revival in November! (Also, I am a little bitter that the closest "Luke's" to me is about an hour away. Not fair, Stars Hollow, not fair.)

If we were on a coffee date, and we were close to a Trader Joe's, we might walk over and buy some little pumpkins. And hey, let's toss in a package of pumpkin pancake mix and a bunch of flowers while we are at it because Fall. 

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you to start reading "Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst. Honestly, this book is deeply needed, in my life and the lives of so many women. I highlighted an ENTIRE page in this book. Buy it, you will not regret it!

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that I have been making magnolia wreaths and it is strangely easy and extremely therapeutic.

If we were on a coffee date, we would talk about the undesired "no's" of life. Sometimes, an unwanted "no" allows you to see that you actually needed a "no". 

If we were on a coffee date, I would talk about my hair. I am choosing to grow it out, but, it is now in that crazy phase where I can't do the normal things to it. It is getting harder to curl and harder to manage. And, although you most likely do not care about my hair, I just have to talk about it, you know?

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask you about the things that are life-giving and restful for you. How do you fill up your empty tank?

If we were on a coffee date, what would you want to chat about?

on the standard of sweetness...

"So I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians, 
and to bring them up from that land to a good and spacious land, 
to a land flowing with milk and honey..." 

- Exodus 3:8

The Old Testament is NOT the place most Christians gravitate toward. We don't really think it's beautiful; it's hard to read, there are a lot of battles and laws and lineage and Jesus hasn't physically shown up yet. The Old Testament is not full of warm, fuzzy feelings. It is not going to give you a big, theological hug. 

In college, I had a professor who instilled within me a love for the Old Testament; for the history, the wrath, the goodness, the story. This is the greatest lesson and gift that I was given as a theology student. He allowed me to see that the Old Testament is absolutely needed and beautiful; because without the wrath, there is no need for love, and without the love, there would be no wrath. We miss that, us Christians, and we miss it hard. This summer I have journeyed through the pages of the Old Testament with a brilliant group of women. Their love for God and His Word completely encourage me. We just finished Genesis not too long ago. We wrestled with the text, asked questions, and began to hide the stories in our hearts. 

We are currently finishing Exodus, the culmination of slavery and freedom. All throughout Exodus, we see the brokenness of slavery and the beauty of the promise of freedom. These pages are meaty and hearty and full of symbolism and story. We do not just read about the chains, but feel the heaviness of the bondage, the deep anticipation and longing to be set free.

The thing that I have been clinging to is the sweetness of the Lord; Yahweh, this great and powerful and wrathful God also establishes Himself as the standard of sweetness. We see this as He provides the way to the land of flowing milk and honey, as He turns the bitter water to sweet water, as He writes the story of redemption in the midst of the wilderness. Honey, thick and gooey and sticky and sweet, a pure reflection of tangible grace.
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"...this great and powerful and wrathful God 
also establishes Himself as the standard of sweetness…"

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The land of flowing milk and honey is referenced four times throughout Exodus. Yahweh reminds them that there hope is coming, that although now they experience the dry and weary land, they will experience a land in the future that is abundant in all good things. Manna is sent from Heaven and, we are told in Exodus 16:5, that it tastes much like the sweetness of honey. Another taste of what is ahead of us; our sweet God is faithful to remind us of what is coming, that we should measure our experiences from the standard of His provision.

And I don't know about you, but I really need to lean in to that space. I need to be washed by the sweetness, to let God drench me with the thick and gooey truth of His goodness. I want my heart to trade in its bitter places for the sweetness of His constant provision and faithfulness. He leads us from our bondage into His blessing, from slavery into sweetness. And you know, sometimes we can't feel it or taste it or see it, but it is coming. The brokenness and bitterness and bondage now will allow us to taste and see that the Lord is sweeter than we could have ever imaged. 

two years to forever...

This week, my Small Group ended.

This week, I have no words and all the emotions.

Monday night was filled with poolside prayers, laughter, tears, selfies, Del Taco Fiesta Packs, and homemade fried ice cream.  And I cried myself all the way home because God’s love and joy and mercy are so evident in this group.

Two years ago, this group came from the Children’s Ministry on the opposite side of the church, into our ministry, and straight into my heart. This group of girls became my group of girls, and the fact that God allowed me to walk with them for two whole years? I CAN’T EVEN RIGHT NOW. I do not question that God completely orchestrated these relationships, because it has been just about too much for me to handle (in every good way imaginable). Two summers, two springs, two falls, two winters. I have seen them through pains and heartaches and joys and laughter; we’ve been the group who has literally mourned and danced together. I am thankful, my heart is joyful, and my cup is overflowing by the gallons.

Teaching these sweet girls has been the best, but being taught by them has been as equally life giving. These girls have taught me so much about what it means to love unconditionally and to know a mothers heart, because let me tell you what, I did not birth these girls, but my love for them is just as fierce as if I did. If any of these girls become orphans, I am adopting them in a HOT HEARTBEAT. No questions asked, you may as well file the paperwork right now just in case, you know, for safe keeping. They have taught me to stay young and to laugh and to wear green tutus and to live fearlessly. They have taught me to exhibit grace and to go with the flow and that Oreos should be incorporated into 85% of your weekly meals. They have taught me what it means to be “on fleek” and all the other cultural shifts and references that are happening amongst the youths of today. They teach me as I teach them and I love how discipleship is cyclical and benefiting to everyone involved (maybe not the Oreo part…).

Monday night we ended our year, celebrating soccer championships and dance performances, new seasons and transitions and new jobs for their parents, sleepovers and snowball fights and awkward conversations about sex; we celebrated TWO WHOLE GIRLS giving their lives to Jesus. And people, if that isn’t the icing on top of an already sweet two years, I don’t know what is!

I am so dang excited for these girls as they start their new adventure in high school! And like I tell these sweet girls, through many tears, we go to the same church and we will always be each other’s people. This is how they learn that community is built across ministries and across rooms; this is how they learn the meaning of the church itself.

But as they grow up, I have so many hopes and prayers and wants for these girls.

I pray that Monday nights remind them of Oreos and Jesus and Tijuana and dance parties and Alex From Target; that they look back at the memories and laugh until they cry.

I pray that their friendships with each other are knit together in the Lord and that they continue to love and serve and encourage and pray for each other with each passing year. I want them to know that we are forever each other’s people.

I pray that they remember that even adults don’t have it all together and that following Jesus will be hard no matter what age you are. To decide to live as a God-fearing girl is no easy choice, but I pray that they wake up every day with the resolve to live in such a way. It is hard, but it is so worth it.

I pray that they continue to pray for my future husband and that when I introduce them to him, they love him and tell him all the silly stories of our Small Group and our jokes and their prayers. And when children come? I pray that these girls love them and cherish them and buy them all the headbands and bows and maybe one day lead them in a Small Group of their own.

I pray that they go into high school (and all of life’s seasons) with all the confidence because God is right there alongside them. He knows what is ahead and He goes before them and hems them in from behind.

I pray that they seek first the kingdom, that in all they do, they will look for the Jesus in it. I pray that they know God’s Word and they pray and they worship with all they have. I pray that one day they do become youth leaders and have a group of girls just like this that they teach and mentor, that they will know the feeling that I have RIGHT NOW.

I pray that they will always laugh with each other and protect each other and worship with each other. I pray that they come alongside each other in both the joys and the trials.

I pray that they learn their gifting’s and serve God with all of their hearts, with all of their capacity, in any season that they find themselves in.

I pray that we never stop celebrating life together; I pray that my fridge is full of graduation invitations, “Save The Dates”, wedding invitations, prayer cards, and Kodak moments from the previous years of us. I pray we still have sleepovers and snowball fights and dance parties to Taylor Swift. I pray that they know how loved they truly are.

Sitting here, writing these words, I am just so thankful, thankful and overjoyed. I am like a broken record in the best possible way. JUST LOOK AT THEM. They have the sweetest smiles and the biggest hearts and the cutest laughs. Two whole years... Praises! 

And this is why I do ministry, this is why I love these girls, because God moves so mightily in the laughter and the crying and the learning. God moves.