Saturday, September 27, 2014

for the love of more...

“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear, what can mere people do to me?””
-       Hebrews 13: 5-6

Lately, I catch myself wanting. Wanting to go and do and buy and make; wanting more time, more resources, more money, more life. Blame it on the hours I spend on Pinterest, my FOMO (fear of missing out) created by Instagram, or the sinful discontentment of my heart, yearning for more because I am simply not satisfied with where I am, what I have, and whose I am... I am wanting.

“Be satisfied with what you have…” Those words have haunted me all week, dwelling deep in my soul. My heart is always finding something new that I need… Anywhere from a new outfit and a new bedspread to a husband and a new car… Friends, I will be completely honest here, I am having a hard time. I am having a hard time balancing the wants and the needs and the godly things and the human things. I am having a hard time balancing, waiting, wanting, resting.

If we are not allowing our heart to be satisfied and met by Christ in its deepest places, we will naturally and subconsciously fill it in other ways. Thomas Chalmers says it this way...

“Such is the grasping tendency of the human heart, that it must have a something to lay hold of—and which, if wrested away without the substitution of another something in its place, would leave a void and a vacancy as painful to the mind, as hunger is to the natural system…. The heart must have something to cling to…”
(Source: She Reads Truth)

Life is so full of exciting possibilities, things that the Lord has laid on my heart for the present, for future. There are books to be written, trips overseas to be taken, women to mentor, memories to reminisce, jokes to laugh at, pain to grieve and mourn, people to love, children to adopt, houses to buy, and families to build. I look to those things, and I want them all. The children, the trips, the books, the memories… BUT, in order to get to those seasons, I must not only be present in my current season but also live it well, leaning on The One who fills me with these hopes and dreams. I must be satisfied right now with the job I have, the money I make, the house I am building, the ministry I am apart of, the life I have been given in Christ. My heart must be more in love with Christ than the plan that I think He has for my life (marriage, children, money, ministry, etc.). 

I love deeply, yearn passionately, and grasp tightly. I need to learn to loosen my grasp. My idea of life is vastly different than that of Christ’s; the things He desires for me are not necessarily what I desire for myself, in shocking, devastating ways for the good and for the hard (not bad, because He does not give us any bad, only good and hard).

We must be satisfied with where we are, what we have, and whose we are! Life is a journey, no one has arrived; life is not about what we own, but who or what owns us; remember that you are Christ’s first and foremost, He is your Helper, say that to yourself in confidence! There can always be more, but Christ calls us not to a life of more, but a life of abundance, and this is radically different. Whether it's money to what money can buy, nothing will satisfy you the way that Christ has meant to satisfy you.

More is meaningless, abundance is life-giving.

So, today I am praying against more, to be fully satisfied with Christ, not in the amount in my bank account or the apartment I rent or my marital status. I am choosing and praying that my love for Christ is greater than my love for the material that this earth can offer. I am choosing to live a life of abundance, not a life of more. He is our Helper, Sustainer, Provider... 

Why would we want to love anything more? 
Why would we want to love the idea of more when in Christ, there is abundance?

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