Tuesday, April 23, 2013

call me irresponsible...

Responsibility, it’s a robust word, full of meaning and, at some times, burdens. Responsibility can be characterized by what we do, what we fill our days with and how we prioritize our infamous to-do lists. But, I am finding that responsibilities, rather, are what we feel we need to accomplish rather than what we really must be held accountable to.

Recently, a woman at my church told me that she was compelled to write out a list of what she is responsible for in one day. As a wife, mother, student, church leader, etc. I knew that this list would be complex. She had told me that as she created this list, she became overwhelmed with the finished product. Looking at a tangible list made these items all the more real and pressing. Dressing her children, affirming her husband, sending emails, making lunches, doing homework… Amongst the things that she needed, there were things that she herself felt the need to be responsible to: be supportive, be attractive, embody Christ, etc.

This past month my mentor challenged me to think through what I demand of myself and what the Lord demands of me. Coincidentally, I am reading “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist, and one of the chapters challenged her readers to think through things that they do and that they do not do. Although I have not penned these lists, they run through my head, thoughts of reflection and refinement. The idea of creating these lists, contrasting my demands versus Christ’s callings, penning what I do and what I do not do, they allow us to see our gifts, talents, abilities, passions, and in turn what are not our gifts, talents, abilities and passions. There is freedom in this, freedom to holding yourself to a passion that you do not posses or a talent that you just simply were not blessed with.

Friends, there is liberty in the recognition of false responsibility. I realize more and more each day that I place standards upon myself, a false responsibility that calls me to a life of busyness. A testament to this lifestyle is my current fourth day hair. Dry shampoo, you are my good, good friend. (Can I get an amen?) I am holding myself accountable to my standards of what I feel as a need rather than to the discernment of what Christ calls me to. 

I have been irresponsible to truth, to the sealing’s that Christ has put upon my life, striving to cultivate a life through the lenses of Pinterest and the seemingly unending to-do lists.

Today, sweet friends, I invite you to dwell on the false responsibilities that you place upon yourself. Write out what you do and what you don’t do, as soul care to yourself.  Trust that I will be writing out these lists myself, eager to begin holding myself accountable to the grace of the Gospel rather than the chains of my own personal ideas. 

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