“Love
is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or
rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no
record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always
hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Sometimes,
I think as Christians, we become so calloused to this section of Scripture.
It’s read at 90% of the weddings we attend, it’s plastered on the walls of our
bookstores, and preached regularly from the pulpit. Our eyes roll and we
mentally check out as our pastors describe what true love is defined by…
patience, kindness, and selflessness. We know love, we love love. But, I want you to bear with me for a few moments;
hopefully we can see these verses in a different light, one that illuminates a
place in our hearts that so desperately must be exposed.
Often
times, we characterize the opposite of love as hate. It makes sense, at least,
that’s what we have been told makes sense. But, I think in the context of
relationships (friendships, mentorships, marriage, etc.), that the opposite of
love is lust. Now, lust is a strong word with a strong connotation. Most of us
assume that lust is directly speaking towards sexual desire. Yes, this is an
accurate definition, but it is also more simply defined by dear old Webster as
“a passionate or overmastering desire or craving”.
Now,
for a quick moment, let’s define biblical love, based on Scripture. Biblical
loves is patient, kind, confident, modest, humble, respectful and gentle,
selfless, cheerful; it keeps no record of wrongdoings or faults, rejoices with
truth, never gives up, never loses faith, is hopeful and endures. Naturally,
we can assume that what is opposite of these characteristics is what defines
lust. Lust is impatient, hateful, jealous, boastful, proud, rude and harsh,
selfish, irritable; it keeps record of wrongdoings and faults, rejoices with
injustice, gives up, loses faith, is hopeless and wavers.
Do
you recognize these qualities in any of your relationships? A friendship or a marriage
that is marked by lust is one that is unhealthy, and most importantly,
unbiblical.
Are
you impatient with your boyfriend/girlfriend as they guard your purity, saving
sex for marriage, pressuring them to throw in the towel? Are you constantly
keeping tally of your husband’s/wife’s faults? Are you jealous as your friends
pursue other friendships, gain new jobs, get married, or have children? Are you
blind to wise characteristics and decisions in another simply out due to your
own impatience and frustration? And again, this not only applies for those who
are dating, engaged or married, this applies to all relationships that require
love. (And I am hoping that your friendships, mentorships, etc. are requiring
love!)
It
is hard to admit a relationship that is built upon lust. It is not easy to
create friendships and marriages that exude biblical love. It is our human
nature to lust, to reject the love that has been freely given to us. It is
through His sacrifice that we see the beauty of biblical love. Our capability
to love is measured by the Cross. As Scripture states:
“We love each other
because He first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
Do
you love others in your life, truly? Or are you becoming overcome by your own
cravings ad desires? Are you allowing the roots of lust to grow deep in the crevices of
your heart, or are you allowing love to plant itself in your relationships? What
is hindering you from loving others? What lust has enticed you?
Friends,
I pray encourage you to begin examining your relationships, taking inventory of
those that are cultivating love or lust. Yes, it will be painful, but you are
saving yourself from an even severe pain and a possible foothold of chronic sin
in your life.
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